Plan for your death

  4 min read

It’s important not just to consider your death, but also to make sure you actively plan for it.

All those questions you answered earlier (listed below) are important considerations in how you might plan for death.

• If you have a terminal diagnosis (~6 months to live):
  • Would you want to do everything possible to prolong your life?
  • Or would you rather just let the disease take its course and be comfortable?
  • Or something in the middle?
• If you fall into a coma or something similar, the same questions apply.
  • Would you rather go gentle into that good night?
  • Or are you a fighter? And, if you choose to fight, how long would you want that fight to last? As long as possible? A year?
• What should happen to your body if you die?
  • Are you an organ donor?
  • Burial or cremation? Or donate your body to science?

​​ For all

​​ Caregivers

You should choose at least three caregivers. There should be a primary caregiver, a first alternate, and then a second alternate. And these may need to change over time due to health and availability. We suggest revisiting your plan at least every 5 years to make sure your primary agent still lives in the same city. Or perhaps your alternate has passed away since you assigned them. Take the time to revisit these decisions and speak with your attorney if things have changed or you have concerns or questions.

Equally as importantly, you need to have a conversation with these caregivers to make sure they are ready for that responsibility and know your wishes and values. The values and priorities are important, because the truth is, none of us know what complexities and details will surround any given hospital visit or medical complication. So equip your loved ones with not the answers, but the tools to assess any given medical situation you might face.

In those conversations, also think about how much you trust these caregivers in general and in their ability to carry out your wishes specifically. Do you have very specific preferences for your death? And will those preferences be honored?

These questions are important for when you talk to your attorney (which we’ll discuss in more detail in the next unit).

​​ Preferences

In the introduction for this module, we talked about the “hallway huddle.”

You can avoid this by thinking about – and then communicating clearly – your preferences around death.

What are your preferences (care or comfort) for a terminal disease? What about a non-terminal, but irreversible disease (coma, Alzehiemers, etc.)?

Make sure you share these preferences with your caregivers and your attorney (which we’ll discuss in more detail in the next unit).

​​ For some

​​ If you want to prolong life

If you want to prolong your life at all costs when faced with a terminal illness or irreversible condition, think through the ramifications.

There’s an emotional burden that might affect your caregivers, especially if you are in a coma for a period of years.

And – sometimes even more difficult – is the financial burden. End of life care can be incredibly expensive. Not only should your estate or caregivers be able bear that cost, but also you should think about whether it’s worth the opportunity cost. Would you prefer to use your estate for other purposes (providing for your family, charity, etc.)? You may also want to consider disability insurance.

There are no “correct” answers here, just considerations for you as you weigh your own values and resources.

​​ Your funeral mass

Your funeral mass isn’t just for you, but everyone attending as well. It helps your family and friends process grief, say goodbye, and – more importantly – it can be a real opportunity for conversion.

Especially if you have those in your life who have fallen away from the Church, this might be the first time they’ve gone to Mass in years or decades. And you have an opportunity to bring them back to church at least for one Mass. People often find God in moments of grief, as their soul is ripe for the Holy Spirit.